October 14, 2005
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Hi
First of all, thank you all for your kind words regarding the tribute
to my father and the recent poem. I appreciate your taking the time to
read through something that lengthy, getting to know a little about a
man most of you never met. The positive feedback has been very
gratifying, and I've even had people who knew him longer than I did say
to me that through it they learned to see him in a new light.So.
How am I doing?Well... That's a good question. Never having been through this kind of
grieving process before, I really don't have much to go by. By many of
the factors, I guess I'm doing well -- I'm able to go to work, function
pretty much normally... I don't spend all day crying... However, I'm
still facing some limitations and trying to keep focused on the fact
that I have the right not to be 100% right away. For example, we have
some purchases that we would like to make, so I though I would work one
day of my weekend last week (which would pay time-and-a-half). I was a bit
apprehensive, but thought I'd be able to do it. However, as the evening
of my 'Saturday' was drawing to a close, I just couldn't handle the
thought of going in to work the next day. I got all panicky and scared.
I felt trapped. Thankfully, my lovely wife was able to sit me down and
help me through it, and I didn't go in. After-work overtime is out as
well. I'll get back to it when I feel able to, and not before.On the musical front, some exciting things happening. I have a ticket to see one of my favourite musicians -- Richard Thompson.
He's playing in Toronto in less than a week. It's a small-scale tour
promoting his recent solo album, and very excitingly he's being
accompanied by the world's greatest standup bassist, Danny Thompson.
I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm going to go into Toronto
earlier in the day, to spend some time in Koreatown. Should be a great
day.Anyhow, there's more to say but I'd best be off to bed. Saturdays are
my Mondays, so I have face my new week in the morning. I'm going to
spin off some things I was going to say in this entry into their own
entries, hopefully sooner rather than later. Thanks for dropping by.Take care
-J-
Comments (5)
It will be quite some time before everything is completely okay, but it will never be "the same" as before. Even when it's "better" there will still be moments when it will feel like your world is going to come crashing down.Particularly at milestone dates. However, those times will become more infrequent, and shorter in duration. I know that's not reassuring, but it's the best that I can offer, as someone who's six years further along in the process than you are.
Please take care of YOU, Justin.
The first year is the hardest, it does take a while. Its a gradual fading out of acute grief into heart-aching sadness and thence down the road to being able to recall memories with a smile. It does happen though because you can't live forever in sadness and its the natural order that our parents precede us.
Take care yourself, love Petra.
It's going to be tough for a while.
Grieving is such an individual process.
Take all the time you need.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. And as the others have said, it's a process that takes time. Be well...
Justin, I have had you on my mind. May I say that you were blessed to have a great dad, and role model. I hope when you think of him, you think on all the ways he taught you great things that equipped you to have a great life. And the things you can pass to your wife and kids and grandkids, and even the other people in your life. So many people teach us hard lessons. But when one has an incredible person in their life, they honor that person when they share what they were given.
God bless you!
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