Pressure is a strange thing. It both motivates and paralyzes us, spurs us on and holds us back. It comes from all around, friendly and hostile, a constant aspect of life in one form or another. Each of us has our own built-in responses to various kinds of pressure, and from there we can choose to spend our energy defeating some of the less productive reactions and fostering the useful ones, if we so desire.

Some people respond very well to pressure, feeling that they work best when they're 'under the gun'. For them, deadlines help create focus. Holding themselves to a specific goal and timeframe is how they get things done, and as the due date rolls closer, they ramp up the activity. For others, however, pressure paralyzes. They need lots of time and open-ended deadlines that allow for unforseen circumstances. Constant hovering by a supervisor leads to an inability to achieve anything.

I, like most people, fall at different parts of the spectrum depending on the circumstance. I usually gravitate to a relaxed, low-pressure environment, but I can also respond well to more intense situations as long as they're friendly and supportive. For me, one of the worst combinations is a feeling of pressure to accomplish something, but without a clear deadline or purpose. When something really needs doing, but is capable of being put off until tomorrow, that's generally what I'll do.

I've been trying to do some recording lately, as I've mentioned before. Byron and I have a sort of a plan to complete a new Ticklish Brother album during 2007. I spent several hours this evening with the 12-track, poking at some of the songs. I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked, partly because there were several kinds of pressure all acting at once -- the pressure of getting takes worthy of public release, the pressure of working out arrangements, the pressure of trying to record myself playing instruments I don't know how to play, the ever-present lack of time... Recording can be fun, but add in these pressures, and it becomes more difficult to move forward. Ideally, we'd both be living in the same place, and could just sit around and play music in a relaxed atmosphere and let the tape roll. But you work with what you have.

It's been snowing here for a week, and the forecast says we'll stay below average temperature for the next couple of weeks. The couple of weeks of spring weather we had really started to lift my spirits a bit, after the dreary winter. I'm looking forward to its return, for that extra bit of help in getting myself moving again.

I'll finish off today with a couple of live recordings of me in solo mode. These are from March 23rd at a show here in Cambridge. It was the first of a new series of monthly folk concerts being run by the Mill Race Folk Society. It was headlined by Ian Bell, with contributions from a few locals like me. I'll be hosting the next two, with James Gordon & Sons and Mose Scarlett headlining respectively. Both songs are traditional.

Take care
-J-

Hi

You may remember that my wife and I keep guinea pigs. Lovely little animals. Most people sort of lump them in with gerbils, hamsters, mice and rats under a sort of umbrella "small rodents" category, but that doesn't really do them justice. Guinea pigs are really in a league of their own -- substantial enough to be a real pet, but still compact enough to live in a cage or tupperware bin. They have a lot of personality, are very affectionate, and make cute noises. Unfortunately, most people don't know how to treat them properly, and have the mistaken expectation that their lifespan is around a year, maybe two at the most. It's largely a self-fulfilling prophecy, and whenever we meet such people, talking about their poor ex-piggles, we have to rapidly change the subject.

Here are the originals: Flurry, the white and grey one, was my birthday present about 2.5 years ago. She's gotten noticeably larger than when this was taken last year. Sweetie, on the right,  is the elder, just a few weeks shy of her 9th birthday! You see why we get mad when they "die naturally" after a year!

And here's a little video clip of the newest member of our menagerie.
Her name is Cinder, and she has a black face and dark salt-and-pepper
body. She's getting used to her new environment quite well, though we
haven't yet been able to introduce her to the others because of a
medical thing that we had to have treated first. Soon though. At the
moment, Flurry and Sweetie share a big cage, with a divider between
them (Sweetie gets stressed when Flurry is too enthusiastic, and we're worried that she, being ancient, will kick the bucket if overstressed). The
intention is that we'll remove the divider and put Cinder in the big
cage with Flurry, and Sweetie will move into her own new Tupperware
bin. Sweetie was born with crippled paws, so she doesn't move around much
and has always been quite happy in a much smaller space than one would need for a
regular piggle.

So there you have it. Cute animals.

More anon.

Take care
-J-

Hi all

Quick entry.

There are pictures and information about how the show went, over at the Ticklish Brother weblog. I shalln't duplicate it here, but do drop over if you're interested in the details. If you'd like to hear a few songs from the show, or are new to the whole Ticklish Brother experience, head over to our Soundclick page, which has 9 songs -- album tracks, songs from the recent show, and other bits and pieces. If you're a myspace person, we have one of those too. Love to hear what you think.

A more Justin-centric post will follow soon. Hope you're all well.

Take care
-J-

Well, we put Byron on the 7:45 bus this evening, bringing our wonderful visit to a close. A great show, some recording, and lots and lots of time spent just hanging around and laughing. He and his wife are just the sort of people we like having around. Even after 10 days, it never felt at all demanding having them in the house, which is cramped even without guests. We sang and played, watched movies good and bad, ate chocolate, drove around... It's a real pity they live so far away. Family and friends are all far away from this city where we live.  But visits help to ease the distance in a way that instant chat and e-mail and phone calls can't quite replicate.

I find myself feeling energized, and I want to hold onto the sensation of being human for the first time in ages. I know there'll be a bit of a backslide, but I hope I have the strength to seize this opportunity to start making some meaningful decisions concerning where the heck I'm going. Momentum builds momentum.

Once I get some editing done I'll post some pictures from the show, and maybe some audio. Haven't even listened to the recording to see if it's any good. Thankfully, the only feedback was of the "great show" variety

Take care
-J-

Well, the show starts in under an hour, so off we go!

Details of musical happenings posted at the Ticklish Brother blog.

Take care
-J-

I'm all excited lately. Byron and his lovely wife are coming to visit very soon. They arrive here late Sunday night and will be staying for 10 days or so. We'll be doing lots of recording, and there's a show booked for Friday the 19th at a place called Cafe on King. I've been negotiating back and forth with the guy at the venue for over a week, hammering out the various details. It's a nice place, and it'll be great to do some performing again as Ticklish Brother. I have to smack myself in the head with a mackerel or something, to get my brain in gear to finish the pile of songs that I really want to include in these sessions. I want to try them out on the crowd at the show as well. If you're in the Cambridge/Kitchener/Waterloo sort of area, come on out! There's no cover, and we'll sing our butts off to give you a good show

There'll be more updates as things happen, both here and at the Ticklish Brother blog. I'm hoping to use the Xanga Video feature for the first time, to post some footage from the show and recording sessions. All other inspiration is being funneled into this particular pursuit, so no general entries are to be expected until after the dust settles.

Take care
-J-

It's unbelievable how fast these things roll around. 6 years. Thanks, as always, to the people who come by and read and comment. Somehow I only managed 14 posts this year, which is pretty pathetic. Hopefully 2007 will see at least 20

Must get some sleep.

Take care
-J-

The reaching arms of headlights stretch out through the fog, clutching at the miles, drawing in the faraway and holding it close until, fickle, they pass on by in search of fresh ground to cover.

---

Life lately has been showing some small signs of movement, which is nice. I'm in the initial stages of reclaiming my humanity, and while it still feels a bit like 30 steps forward, 29 steps back, progress is being made. I've been working on getting my writing out into the world again, and one of my poems placed 3rd in a local literary contest. I took in a show and had a great visit with some friends of mine from university. I've picked up some great albums. I've been taking lots of pictures (see above). I've also been working on my own music again, making a concerted effort to get a bunch of songs finished soon because my dear friend Byron and his lovely wife are coming to visit in January, and we're going to do some recording for a new Ticklish Brother album, and hopefully perform at least one show.

Work continues to be kind of the achilles heel in all this. There was an especially rough patch for a month or so, and though thankfully that's died away and things have returned to a dull roar, I'm still anxious to settle on a direction and move toward a more satisfying line of employment. It's difficult to bring myself back to life when such a large chunk of my time is spent in such an uninspiring pursuit.

On the horizon there's always a ton to do. My main focus is the Ticklish Brother planning -- getting the songs finished, preparing the recording setup, looking at venues for a show, planning a revamp of our hopelessly outdated website... I also want to keep expanding the sphere of my writing in other areas. I'm looking at doing some articles for the newspaper, starting a new play, working on a scholarly article, updating my weblog more frequently... Basically, momentum breeds momentum. I've been stationary for too long, and I'm trying to cause as many vibrations as possible in the hopes that they'll add up to some movement.

So that's my update for now. I hope those of you who celebrate Christmas have a good one. Keep yourselves as happy and healthy as possible.

Take care
-J-

We dig ourselves deeper and deeper into hectic routines. We sacrifice more and more of our time in the pursuit of material prosperity. Money and "success" must be chased at all costs, and if that means our personal lives suffer, then so be it. That carrot on a string draws us ever onward, building that nest-egg, struggling for that ultimate promotion, just itching for that day when we can retire and finally start enjoying ourselves.

Quite frankly, most of us don't have jobs that are prticularly inspiring. There are some jobs that, to me, would justify absorbing most of one's focus -- international humanitarian work or something, perhaps. But really, if you're working at a warehouse, selling shoes, or balancing the books at a paper company, is that job really worth the level of importance we give it?

We busy ourselves with a million little things, but do we have an overarching reason behind them? Children are increasinly isolated from the basic, wander-the-neighbourhood, time-with-the-parents upbringing and shoehorned into battery-powered edutainment. How can we expect young people to be excited about learning when the only incentive we offer them is big jobs with big money but no reason? Money is not a reason, it's a means to an end.

Anyhow, enough of the ranting. I was put in mind of all this by Take Back Your Time Day, which is today. I haven't read all their material, so I don't know whether I fully endorse what they're doing, but it seems to me like any initiative we can find that encourages us to live life for a reason, and cut back on the things we do simply to "get ahead" is a great idea.

Here's hoping you find a little time to yourself today, to try and remember and contribute to what's really important.

Take care
-J-