Today has, without a doubt, been the most difficult, horrible day of my adult life. Please say prayers.

Take care
-Justin-

Never make the the mistake of thinking things can't get worse, because life always has the ability to prove you wrong without batting an eyelash.

I still don't really want to post the specific details of things here, but I'm in an express bus terminal waiting for an 11:40pm bus to take me to Seoul. There, I will meet up with my wife who is very sick. Then I will have to try and find a way to get her the hell out of this country and back to Canada where she can start to heal. My bosses are sending mixed messages -- Mr Boss is emphasizing how my wife's health is the most important consideration with everything else secondary, while Mrs Boss is calling me to ask if I can leave my wife alone for three weeks in the building she's been moved to and come back from Seoul tomorrow before work starts!

I understand that my decisions affect their business profoundly, and the last thing I've ever wanted to do is break my contract. Those of you who have been reading here for awhile know that's true. But right now, I have responsibilities which supercede my responsibilities. But still, I'm bending over backwards to consider options which cause them the least hardship, even if it means sizeable financial losses for us. I'm currently entertaining two main ideas, one being that We buy a couple of tickets back, I accompany her back to Canada, make sure she's settled in with her parents, then come back here to complete my contract. The other is to try and get a super-expedited passport for Crista's father and buy him a ticket to come and get her. That would leave me here to go back to work. But we shall have to see.

I'm tired of apologizing. I mean, sure I'm sorry about all this. I really am. But if I spend the whole time grovelling and begging for mercy, I won't have time to do anything else. This is simply something I have no choice about and they'll have to find a way to deal with that fact.

The trick now is to pull it off physically. I've gotten roughly 7 or 8 hours sleep total in the past week, and my body is rebelling. Earlier, I was making a bunch of phone calls, notifying various people and such. Next thing I know, my world is exploding into panic and noise which I eventually realize is the doorbell of the apartment. Turns out I fell asleep sitting up at the computer. It was one of my co-workers coming to get me to drive me to this bus terminal. All the way here, I kept falling asleep in the middle of sentences. When I do get sleep in a bed, I panic when the phone rings, answer it, but never remember any of this afterward. Not good. I've just had 2 cups of coffee to make sure I don't drift off here in the terminal. I brought the alarm clock for the bus -- this 4 1/2 hour ride will be the longest stretch of sleep I've gotten in several weeks.

Anyhow, that's about all I can pass on to you. I'm not entirely comfortable putting this down in my regularly run-of-the-mill blog, but oh well. I need to let some of this out sometimes. Any prayers or positive energy you guys can send us wold be greatly appreciated. Not sure how updated I'll be able to keep you, but I'll do my best.

So, I hope you're all well and happy and healthy. All the best.

Take care
-Justin-

The time has abandoned us
Going quickly far too slow
And every time these things break
I wonder if there's enough glue
In the whole world
To fix these plates of love
Cups of capacity.

Each day brings a slide
The mud of consciousness sloshing down
The hillside of reason
Factual statements that make no sense
Nonsense accepted by all.

Can't tell the skills
From the liabilities
Truth from the haze of exhaustion
Selfishess from justified pain
Duty from duty not to.

The lines are down
Operators aren't standing by
Not where they're supposed to anyway.
A silver bird beckons
Mouth open
Teeth closed
To remove and restore
But at what cost?

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear meeeeeeeeee! Happy birthday to me!!!

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, I arrived on this earth a quarter century ago today. It's been a fascinating ride so far, and I have no doubt that it will continue to provide me with plenty of joy and grief.

It was a fairly quiet birthday, as they go. I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night, so I've been really drowzy and unfocused. Wednesday is my longest workday, from noon to 9:35pm, and when I got home I was definitely ready to crash. However, that seems a little silly, so here I am. We made popcorn, then we're going to watch some Star Trek. We considered a movie, but it would take too long and probably require and attention span beyond what I currently possess. In the past, we've gotten really elaborate with birthdays, but our options are rahter limited here in Korea. The types of gifts we go for are not really available, and neither are some of the weird and wacky setups (Crista once cooked me a birthday dinner and served it to me, as a surprise, in a tent in the woods). Plus we can't afford anything particularly elaborate. But such is life. This is relaxed and pleasant and quite nice, so I'm not complaining. Life is stressful enough at the moment that a relaxed evening is a much needed beast.

The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed to appearance here at Xanga of my lovely wife. She somehow managed to escape the obsession I've had with Xanga for nearly 3 years, but finally fell prey to its call. I mention this partly because I've been meaning to introduce her for several days but since I haven't posted it hasn't worked. I also mention is because yesterday was our 2nd wedding anniversary! Yes, I got married the day before my 23rd birthday. These past couple of years have been jam-packed with hardships and tests and stuff, but plenty of good times and change for the better too. All in all, I think I've gotten a pretty good deal. You'd have to ask Crista if she feels the same There are a few pictures from the wedding on my webpage if you care to peruse them.

It's ALSO my youngest brother's birthday. Yes, we share a birthday. I woke up on my 12th birthday and the house was empty because my parents had gone to the hospital and they'd sent my brother to stay with a family friend. Anyhow, Kevin enters that fascinating and torturous zone known as the teenage years. Poor thing. Apparently he's grown nearly a foot since I last saw him, and we won't see him until until December. He might be taller than me by then...

Anyhow, if I'm to get anything else done before bed, I'd better stop writing. No need to mix a lot of non-anniversary-related stuff in ayway. Keep it to the point and all that. I'll be back in a few days or so with some updates about our travel plans and such.

So, all the best.

Take care
-J-

Hi all

Well, another week has gone by, and I find myself sitting here, staring at the computer and trying to accomplish a task I don't really want to accomplish. I have to have two plays ready for tomorrow, so that the students can start rehearsing them. They're for something called the "English Festival", which will eventually be some kind of a showcase/school concert kind of a thing for the English House students. The problem is that I don't have the brainpower to write two plays, but I still feel like I should. Anyhow, I think I'm just going to bite the bullet and use a couple that I have from an educational website. I just need to edit them a little (they were written by people whose first language was Korean) and they should be good to go. I dunno. With my poor numb brain lately, even such a simple task seems like a monumental undertaking.

On the upside, Crista's been home since Wednesday night, so we've just been relaxing and basically not trying to accomplish anything (which may have something to do with why I can't get these plays taken care of). It's nice, since she's been gone for a month. The house is a bit of a state, and there are a million things to do, but the panic generally bubbles away somewhere below the surface...

Speaking of things to do, we only have 7 weeks left in Korea. Very scary. So little time, and the mountain of things to do is intimidating. Have to get ready to live in Canada again. Have to get songs finished so that we can record the new CD. Have to get Crista registered at university. Have to put out feelers for an apartment in St. John's...

But anyhow, can't dwell on that right now. In fact, I shouldn't be typing here at all. I should be working, and so I shall, since I still want to watch an episode of Star Trek before bed (have I mentioned it's 2am?). Argh. Do you know what it's like when the world is revving up all around you, but your brain seems to be stuck in neutral?

Take care
-J-

Another Sunday afternoon rolls around. Three weeks since my last entry. A lot has happened, though most of it I won't get into just now. Perhaps I'll talk about it in some future entry, but for now I think I'll stick to other matters, if that's okay.

Well, I'm sitting here, eating coffee ice cream and wondering what exactly to do with myself. I had a gruelling week, and was up later than I wanted to be last night because of some business I had to take care of, so I only woke up a little after 4pm. Oops. But I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I needed the sleep. I'd like to go for a walk, but it's kind of toasty.  It's 35 degrees (97F) out, which is still cooler than yesterday's 42 (107) but much warmer than I like it to be if I'm going to be outside. Looks pretty, though, so I might brave it in a little while. Crista is still away, which always leaves me at a bit of a loose end.

In Ticklish Brother news, one of our songs was recently used as part of the soundtrack of a short film, and has apparently been drawing a fair bit of attention. In addition to making us a little money, it gives us some good exposure, as the film will be broadcast on YTV and perhaps other television stations. Good exposure is priceless.

For those of you looking for an interesting web radio station, I have one for you. It's called Whole Wheat Radio, and it's broadcast out of a 4x4 meter (12x12 foot) plywood cabin in Alaska. They broadcast high quality independant music in a variety of genres (but no urban, heavy metal, rap...). They're really fun people, too. The website is quite detailed, with a listener console offering current track information, a request service, the next 100 hours of upcoming programming, and a chatroom for you and other listeners. Quite fascinating. I introduced myself there last night and they read part of my weblog on air! So if you're looking for a quirky station with great music, check them out.

Anyhow, that's it for today, I guess. A more reader-friendly-sized piece. I'll try and post again fairly soon.  Thanks for dropping by.

Take care
-Justin-

Sunday afternoon...

So I'm alone for a month. I escorted my wife to the train station in the oppressive heat of yesterday morning. Taxis were scarse in the streets so early on a Saturday, so we asked the nice lady at the grocery store to call one for us. Traffic was fairly packed, but with a little creative Korean driving we arrived with a minute or three to spare. Exiting the taxi, the sound of the cicadas in the surrounding trees was almost deafening -- a steady buzzing drone, unlike the "mmeeeee mmeeee mmeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeee" of the afternoon. We actually watched one up close the other day, and the sound comes from a very amusing wiggling of the butt...

So anyhow, my wife went off on the train a few minutes later, and I picked up my train tickets for the Baha'i summer school in couple of weeks time (which involved a walk to the bank since I was short exactly the amount I paid the taxi driver). I had originally planned to grab another taxi home, but for some reason, despite the oppressive heat and the continued presence of uncomfortable stomach problems I haven't been able to shake for a week, I decided to walk home. Have I mentioned before that I don't like the heat? In fact, I'm writing this entry now because it's 39 degrees out (102 F) and I'm hoping it'll cool down a bit so I can take a walk. So I'm cuccooned in the apartment with the air conditioned on blast, a good cup of coffee, and a vague feeling of disorientation.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were my "summer vacation". Originally, we thought we might go to Seoul together, but there was just so much prep work to get done for Crista's trip. We tried to go to the beach on Wednesday, but the aforementioned stomach problems shot that one down. Basically, we spent the whole break getting her materials ready. Oh well. My co-workers are sort of amused and a little worried that Crista is leaving me alone for so long. They don't know my dirty little secret -- though I'm not nearly as talented in this regard as my wife, I can in fact wash dishes and keep the house reasonably presentable. I also have a lot more cooking experience than she does, so assuming that I remember to do so, I won't starve. They're joking that I should find myself a Korean girlfriend while Crista's gone.

Thursday is worthy of mention for a couple of reasons, the first being a rather disturbing visit to the dentist. Before I came to Korea, I had 2 cavities total during my life. I developed one which was filled here a few months back, but the other day I noticed a couple more. I was shocked to find out at the dentist that I had 6!!! Dear lord! So I had them all filled, and this time I chose not to have anesthetic (last time it just ended up that way). It's quite a meditative experience, especially for so many fillings. But I got through. The dentist gave me a discount because I'm a foreigner without insurance, which was great. It still came to 300,000 won (about $350), but they do beautiful work. The second reason the day was memorable is quite different. After the dentist, we grabbed a bus to do some shopping. On the bus, I met a 10-year-old girl. She was sitting with her mother in the row opposite us. She started up a conversation by asking "Why do you look so sad?". So I told her I had just come from the dentist and that I had a spliting headache. We proceded to chat for nearly half an hour. Her English was remarkable, far better than that of any of my students. She wasn't simply repeating textbook phrases, but composing complex ideas in various tenses, and understanding the things I was saying without my having to simplify them. But what really made it special was her personality. She just seemed very personable and humble, without any of the taunting or giddy fear that usually accompanies a child talking to a foreigner here. When I complimented her on her English, she said "Oh no, there are many students in the downtown area whose English is much better than mine." It was just a real pleasure to talk with her. I think that she's going to be a truly remarkable woman when she grows up...

Some good news on the family front -- My mother and father and brothers have now moved back into the family house following 7 weeks of reconstruction. I'm very happy for them, since I'm sure it's been difficult living in an apartment, waiting for the work to be finished. I admit that I'm really quite apprehensive about seeing the house in its new state. While the repair work has actually improved some things, there are a number of projects into which I sank many many hours over the years which have now been obliterated. That's really going to hurt. But when it comes down to it, they're only physical things.

Though one of our backers has temporarily withdrawn from the project, Byron and I are still committed to getting together in November to record a second Ticklish Brother album. I'm really looking forward to it. With less than 4 months remaining of our stay in Korea, the specter of our return to Canada is looming large in my mind. Korea has been a real blessing in that it has provided me with stable, enjoyable, good-paying employment. I have no such hopes for St. John's, the city we will be living in from January on while Crista is back at university. I'm scared of returning to an employment environment in which I was turned down at Walmart, and where minimum wage is the rule. I'm scared of having to bust my butt trying to find such employment, and I'm scared of slipping back into the despair which that experience brought upon me. However, it's not all doom and gloom. In fact, every day I'm feeling a little bit more positive about things, and determined to make the best of it all. Plus, if things really are that bleak, I'll just readjust my strategy, and perhaps go in for a Master's degree (something which has always been a goal). And plus, St. John's, as the capital city, does have a lot more opportunities than Corner Brook.

So that's where I am right now. I'm sure I'm leaving things out which I wanted to mention, but I'll just have to deal with that too. First things first -- I need to make sure I use this next month productively. I can watch the movies that Crista doesn't want to see, for example, the delete them from our ridiculously overcrowded hard drive (less than 1GB free out of 37). I'm also hopelessly behind on some e-mails and other internet-related tasks. I have letters to write to my extended family, songs to finish writing... If I can get off my butt and be productive instead of frittering the month away in an aimless daze, I'll feel much better.

Anyhow, I'll let you go for now. Thanks for dropping by. Part of me is worried that you're all going to drift away once I return to my boring life in Canada

Take care
-Justin-

Hi all

At the risk of sounding redundant, time is just flying by. Here it's been over a month since I last posted, though I've been reading other people's sites and commenting as best I can. But between work and the million other little details of life, an increasing number of things seem to fall through the cracks.

But anyhow, I should get to the substance of all this. Hmm. Let's see. Where to start?

Well, I guess the first piece of news is that the pictures aren't posted yet. They've been edited and they're ready to go, but I've hit a stumbling block with the webpage creation. At home, I used Frontapge 98, but I left it in Canada. So I've been trying to find a decent little graphical webpage program (since I don't have the attention span to hand-code it right now) that's free. I've found something called Selida. It seems good, but it does have its idiosyncracies which I'm trying to overcome. They're silly little things (like the fact that I can't figure out how to add a background image), but they're just enough of a speedbump to have brought me up short. But I promise that I'll get up off my backside and get the work done very very soon. Really I will.

Well, the elementary school classes are still weird, but they've stabilized a lot. I had to crack down with discipline, but they seem to have figured out that their initial behaviour is going to net them nothing but grief. And now that things are mostly straightened out, the classes are ending! Wednesday was to be my last session with them until September, but it was cancelled. So I'm free of them for now, to regroup and figure out my strategy for September.

Thursday was a holiday, which was very pleasant. Constitution Day. Every week should have an extra day off. I just had Friday and now it's the weekend all over again. Very civilized. Unfortunately, both Crista and I are feeling a bit unhealthy, so we're not able to make the most of it. But we had a very pleasant afternoon in Kyongju yesterday, wandering around in Tumuli Park, a collection of ancient royal burial mounds.

I discovered a fabulous new file-sharing program. It has an almost entirely European userbase, which means that it caters to my musical tastes in a way that Kazaa absolutely doesn't. In the last three days, I've been able to track down the final three out-of-print vinyl-only albums to complete my Bert Jansch collection. I'm extremely happy. It also has an acoustic guitar chat room, which has led me to some amazing new guitarists I'd never heard of. All in all, it's just fabulous! Can you tell that music is a vital part of my life?

My wife leaves soon for a month. She's taking part in a couple of international conferences, and will also be doing some work with North Korean refugees. She leaves the 2nd of August and gets back here in the late 20s of the month. Should be a fabulous experience for her. She's a little nervous because she has to do presentations and stuff. But I'm sure she'll have a great time. And if time keeps passing as quickly as it has been, I'll hardly notice she's gone before she's back again

I hate summer vacation (Wow, never thought I'd hear myself say that!). Well, not really. Not exactly. Summer vacation  started here in Korea on Friday, which means the kids are out of school until the beginning of September. Since I work at a private school, I don't get a summer vacation. I wasn't expecting to, so that's no big deal. However, what does happen during vacation times is that my schedule gets changed. My evening classes, as of Monday, have been moved to mornings. Yuck. I don't like mornings. Originally, they were to be at 9:30, but my co-teacher and I groaned a bit and my boss reshuffled them to 11:20am. Most of you must consider 11:20am a dream starting time, and it probably is. I certainly don't mind it as much as 9:30. But I'm definitely not a morning person. But I do acknowledge that 11:20-6:50 is not too onerous a workday...

Anyhow, I'm going to head outside for a while. Even if I feel like poop, the fresh air will do me some good. Plus, it's thundering and lightninging which always makes me happy. The rainy season was so pathetic that any kind of interesting weather is a welcome diversion.

So, I hope you're all well and happy and healthy. Thanks for dropping by. I'll make yet another attempt at posting more regularly, though I have no idea how successful I'll be.

Take care
-Justin-

Why hello there.

It seems that time is destined to fly by at a feverish pace these days. I seem powerless to stop it. I can't even seem to post here more frequently than every few weeks.

Well, I'm settling into these new elementary school classes, though they're a bit rocky. In fact, my first class this morning was perhaps the worst-behaved bunch of kids I've encountered so far in Korea (and there have been some doozies). It was quite frustrating. But the other class was good, which helped balance it out a little.

My wife and I had a little scan-fest tonight, scanning over 150 pictures. Cropping, squashing and webpaging them will take some time, but a large step has been made toward getting them out there. In fact, we've now scanned every picture that needs scanning (except for one that's gone inexplicably missing).

Anyhow, my wife is trying to go to sleep (it is, after all, 3am), so I'd better get off the computer. I'll let you know when the new pictures have been revealed in all their glory.

Take care
-J-

Hi all

Thanks for your words of encouragement concerning the maybe-maybe-not fire situation. I was certainly quite stressed out there for a while. Uncertainty is not the nicest state of being...

Ok. So the deal is that there was a fire in my family's house. There were fire trucks and police cars and men with axes... Most importantly, nobody was hurt. The fire obliterated my brother's room, and there's smoke damage throughout the house. They're estimating 4 to 6 weeks or more before they can move back in. The front of the house has to be torn out, along with some inside walls and a lot of the ceilings. All the carpet has to go, everything has to be painted. All in all, a big pain in the arse, but since there's insurance, it's manageable. Most of our belongings survived, since the water damage was fairly minimal because the fire didn't spread far (my brother shut his door).

So. Knowing what's going on, and being in some sort of contact with them has allowed my stress level to drop back to something resembling normal (which isn't always that low, but anyhow...). My family is safe, my wife's and my belongings (in storage in the basement) are safe, and the money is there to rebuild. So. It could have been much much worse.

On the Korean front, I now teach a couple of morning classes a week at an elementary school 20 minutes' drive away. I was not consulted beforehand, I got two days notice, and I have no curriculum. Thus too is causing me some degree of stress. But oh well. Such is life. We also knuckled down and told my boss that Crista and I will be returning to Canada when my contract ends in October. They were rather disappointed, but it went alright. We're giving serious thought to coming back to Korea once Crista finishes her degree (the reason we're going back).

Also of potential interest is our acquisition of a scanner. It's on loan from a friend. This means that new pictures are soon going to be available. I've scanned about 30 so far, with perhaps 150 to go... But the time is near. Perhaps in a couple of weeks. Hard to say. I'd prefer to put them up in a lump rather than a few at a time. But I'll post here first when they're up and going.

Anyhow, it's time for me to let you get back to your lives. Thanks for dropping by. I'll try to post a little more regularly. It's hard to believe just how fast time has been flying by lately...

Take care
-Justin-