April 13, 2010
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A strange and overdue apology delivered
A few years back, some time around the turn of the millennium, I was sitting with friends in a Halifax bar called Hell. It was open mic night there, hosted by singer/songwriter Al Tuck. His music was great, and when he came over and sat with us after he proved to be an engaging and pleasant individual. I enjoyed the chat we had, and when we all scattered to the winds in the wee hours, I hoped our paths would eventually cross again.
Fast forward a year or two, and Al popped back into my mind. I looked up his website and decided to drop him a quick e-mail. In it I expressed the hope that everything in his life was going wonderfully. It was a week or so later that I learned that his apartment and all his possessions had recently been destroyed in a fire. He never replied to my e-mail. Ever since I've felt guilty about that message, rubbing salt in the wound.
Fast forward again to recent times. Al was playing downtown here in St. John's, and I saw my opportunity. I popped down and caught his set with stellar guitarist Duane Andrews. Afterward, I waited in the line of admirers until I got a chance to introduce myself. I related the story of the e-mail and extended my decade-late apology for my inadvertent insensitivity. Al was very gentlemanly about it. He did remember the e-mail, and said it actually cheered him up at the time.
So there you have it. It's never too late to offer an apology, open up lines of communication, and tie one more little thread of connection in this crazy world.
Take care
-J-
Comments (3)
How ironic! You didn't know that that his house was on fire, so it wasn't that insensitive, however it was really nice of you to apologize. I liked this story.
you really are one truly very nıce person...
Thanks for the story, Justin. Your behavior was exemplary both times. I can understand your being embarrassed at the untimeliness of your e-mail, but you had no way of knowing that. I believe that you were of help and comfort to him in your e-mail and your subsequent contact with him. I have had several occasions when I have inquired after a family member of a friend, only to discover that they had recently died in a particularly heartbreaking way. I had no reason to feel embarrassed, but I did.