June 1, 2005

• Hi.

  June already. Hard to believe how quickly the time goes by. I realized
  the other day that I've been doing this job now for 6 months. Six
  months. Half a year. It used to be that a year seemed like an eternity,
  but now years are things that just sort of happen. However, it's
  important to realize (and often we're forced to realize) that the
  just-sort-of-happens-ness of it all is something we have control over.
  If we don't make the effort to make each moment of our time notable in
  some way, the likelihood that random chance will pick up the slack is
  rather low.

  However, for most of us, that's more easily said than done. All through
  my public school years, I passed the time by focusing intently on the
  next big event  --  the next stat holiday, the next special
  occasion, or whatever. I would do everything I could to block out the
  intervening time (at least that part of the time spent in class), and
  once that particular occasion had been reached, I focused on the next
  one and the process repeated itself. Thankfully, I had a very rich
  childhood despite this attempt to ignore a large chunk of it. In my
  adulthood, however, I'm finding it a tough habit to break, and the
  richness doesnt happen automatically, like it used to. It's easy to
  slip into a living-for-the-weekend mentality, and easy to just let the
  time slip by without cutting any notches in it, as it were.

  But then, of course, sometimes events arrange themselves in such a way
  as to remind us that it's important to keep some focus on the now. I
  haven't gotten to the point where I don't know in my mind that I need
  to be savouring things more, but I'm not always great at turning that
  knowledge into action. At the moment, I happen to be getting some
  nudges from the universe. Gentle celestial kicks in the posterior, as
  it were. They remind me yet again of what I know I should be doing. The
  present me with irrefutable evidence that unless I get myself in gear
  right now, I'm going to sell myself short. There are some things I need
  to do, because if I don't start now, they're just not going to happen.

  The specifics of it all are both painfully clear and typically murky.
  While I'm being spurred to action, I'm still having to force myself to
  expand my perspective and narrow my focus. Rather than just be reactive
  to the current situation, I want to take this opportunity to jumpstart
  a range of dormant or sluggish areas of my life. Just thinking about it
  makes me tired, but hey. What's the point of easy goals.  It's a
  bit like the overused adage about the beverage we need to make from the
  sour citrus fruit that life keeps beaning us in the head with.

  In somewhat related news, I'm going home. Just for a visit, mind, but
  still. As my long-time readers may remember, it's been over 2 1/2 years
  since I've seen my parents and my brothers. Too long. So off my wife
  and I will go, for 2 weeks in Newfoundland. I was going to go in the
  fall, but we're going to go now. So there. The details are almost all
  dealt with, and will probably be finalized by the time many of you read
  this. All that will be left to do is for me to work ever minute of
  overtime I can manage over the next couple of weeks, to try and offset
  the heavy impact of taking two weeks of unpaid leave.

  And with that, I bid you adieu for the night. As could easily be
  predicted, it's past my bedtime. I have a long week ahead of me, and
  all the extra savouring is bound to leave me even more worn out than
  usual   Thanks for dropping by, and I'll do my best to return
  the favour.

  Take care
  -J-

  • 11:12 pm
  • 10 Comments