December 17, 2001
-
And now it is the 17th...
The year is rapily drawing to a close, I think. The bright cheery lights around town and the white puffy snow help to offset my somewhat darkening mood and slowing brain. I'm still not outwardly employed, though I received the materials today for a custom piece I'm working on. I still have yet to find my equilibrium, and I'm feeling a bit precariously perched in my reality and in my life right now. Probably not at all unusual for a lad of 23. I've never been afraid of the eventual future. It's the immediate future that gets me down. And it takes a lot of fighting sometimes to strike down the feeling that maybe I will continue failing forever...
But fight I do, and try to keep an eye on my larger picture. I have been given enough avantages that I would have to work very deliberately to become a failure. And I don't see that happening. I'm just a child who knows what is ahead but still longs to be one of those very few who can sidestep the drudgery and look to something a bit shinier... But service station attendant will have to be shiny enough for the time being. Or perhaps grocery clerk or fast food cook.
Magic is there for those who care to find it in all things...
Take care
-J-
Comments (2)
well said ... at any age ...
I like that phrase, "outwardly employed". I will have to use that. Sometimes if you sidestep the drudgery, you miss out on something, really. I've had my share of awful jobs, and it sounds stupid, but it really does make you grow! (then when you do what you really love, you really appreciate it)
Comments are closed.